Movie Curmudgeons

Someday, we’ll figure out what makes great movies from video games, and vice versa. But it’s too late for Resident Evil:Degeneration.

In all fairness, it seems that Degeneration was intended to be two short movies, or 30 minutes longer. It views like two separate parts at 45 minutes each, that were compressed for time or budget, but the movie still suffers for it.

A lifeless plot helps the movie limp along from scene to scene, feeling rather, well, video gamey. A lot of “Hey, throw some of THIS at the characters!” goes on, and the material is certainly true to the source. Bonus points for that, there’s no Uwe Boll going on, which means if you’re a fan of Resident Evil, the games, not the live-action series, you’re going to enjoy this most likely. For the rest of us, it’s a bit vague and a bit shallow.

The animation is a mixed bag. Again, it matches the source well, characters are recognizable and animated in a very similar manner. Often they seem jerky, like puppets being manipulated with some invisible strings, but during some action heavy sequences characters move with a lifelike fluidity. The difference is clearly that of raw animation and motion captured sequences, though some of those are overacted and over-gestured, as if a side-effect of being near the T-virus is the shakes or tourettes. Other times the action is unnaturally smooth and effortless, particularly one of the late action sequences, where Leon (From Resident Evil 2 and 4) seems to not be influenced by the Newton’s laws of motion. Most action sequences are still enjoyable, and though they seem lacking, the story and animation are better than what most are putting out anyway.

While there’s little effort to match to the lips of the speaking characters, the acting is mostly solid, even if reminiscent of watching a Godzilla dub. The voice cast is fairly small, but there aren’t a lot of significant characters, and nobody shares an actor, though the performances are a bit melodramatic at points. But it all is, damn it, it’s Resident Evil.

Nothing about the movie stands out terribly beyond the bad dub-syncing, to be honest. The animation is competent, the story is alright, the action is fine. It’s a pretty average movie with above average models and textures matched by below average animation. It’s a hit for series fans, and just another movie for everyone else.

3 out of 5 canes. Not bad, not great, but hey, why not?

Ever since Saw, the psychological gore-flick has become its own genre, with mixed results. Even Saw has started to show weaknesses with the fourth iteration and a new creative team, but plenty of movies of the like have come out since, and quite a few have been excellent movies.

Breathing Room isn’t one of them. Starring a cast of mostly newcomers, with a few TV veterans (several of the cast have done the crime drama rounds), the movie provides no energy, no intensity, no reason to keep watching beyond “Is it as predictable as I think?” Which it likely is, even when the writers are throwing new things in. Honestly, there’s an unsurprising twist every 15 minutes, because the writers knew they were losing the potential audience’s interest that often. “Okay, well…this is going nowhere, so how about this person is a criminal? Great! More filler, then, and we’ll make something else up.”

The plot is as follows: A group of people locked in a room. They’re told only one person will leave alive. Lights go out, someone dies, lights come back on, they argue over who did it, repeat. The concept of one person against everyone doesn’t hold together for a second, even amongst the apparent “bad guys” in the room. Everyone comes together to find a way out, and the cycle repeats far too many times to be interesting. The plot never truly advances, what little there is to begin with. Everyone is going to figure this out within 10 minutes, and the ending there is leaves viewers completely unsatisfied. No motive, no resolution, no reason, just two wasted hours.

I’m not sure that there were more than two good actors in this large cast, which is a real shame, and they generally have as much dimension as their characters do (which is to say, one). Particularly bad is the giant head which occasionally pops up to taunt players on a screen over a door, who may never have seen the dialog before he got in front of the camera, likely aided by cue cards.

Of course, I can only complain so much about such an underwhelming film’s story and acting before getting redundant. I’ll move onto the technical aspects.

This is the opposite of the Fifth Element. Whereas The Fifth Element is a technical masterpiece, with amazing makeup, special effects, lighting, sound, and perfect editing, this is filmed on a Handycam without a white balance. Everything has an unintentional blue tint, the focus is always off, the sound is unclear, and there’s a ton of visual noise with movement. Oh, there’s also the idea of filming what is, in the movie, supposed to be pitch black with dark red lighting that shows everyone with exceptional clarity. Except for the murderer, of course.

Strong light sources cause further noise and unreasonable glare in some scenes, unhelped by awkward camera angles and bad cuts. The only thing this movie doesn’t seem to screw up is continuity, because so little actually happens.

Nothing hints at “bad movie” like the same people writing, producing, filming, and editing a picture on a Handycam. But there was an extra effort put into making sure nipples bleed through tank tops, despite the movie pointing out one of them putting on a bra. Oops?

I can’t stand to write any more about this movie. I genuinely feel like I’ve lost two hours of my life for no reason at all. 0 out of 5 stars, it’s worse than Meet the Spartans. Yes, I know I’m comparing a horror movie to a comedy, but ask yourself, “Is Meet the Spartans actually funny? Doesn’t comedy mean funny?” Then apply that to Breathing Room’s horror content for good measure.